Sudsy Moment Magic!
“Is delight already at your door, waiting to be welcomed in?”
-Janet Hutchens
Oh those Sudsy Moments!
Have you ever heard me talk about my Sudsy Moments?
They usually happen in the shower (hence the name!), but this one happened while I was cleaning house—quite literally, and then figuratively.
Who knew that cleaning my kitchen floor would lead to one of the biggest revelations I've had about my relationship with money?
There I was, mop in hand, thinking about a recent financial exchange with someone who had betrayed my trust more than once over the years. It was something he said at the end—a real zinger—that cut right through to the younger, more trusting version of myself.
Needless to say, the interaction jarred me and resurfaced strong feelings of distrust. It left me a bit shaky and queasy to boot. And suddenly, in mid-mop mode, a thought popped into my head.
What if my difficulty holding onto money wasn’t because I don't believe I deserve it? What if it's actually because I don't trust it?
And then this…
It wasn't that Money wouldn't stick to me. It was that I didn't believe she'd stick around.
Whoa! Now THAT was interesting!
Turning the Mirror Around
I often say that how we manage money is how we manage everything. So when a money belief or pattern reveals itself, it's worth looking at our other relationships to see where that same pattern might be showing up.
I decided to turn the mirror around and take a closer look at my own relationships. And there it was! A long history of loss, disappointment, and betrayal had gradually shaped not only whom I trusted, but what I'd come to expect from life.
Here are some of the highlights:
The loss of both my parents within six years of one another, while I was still a young mother in my early 30s. Two profound losses that changed my world.
My divorce, following my husband's infidelity with one of my best friends, no less. With it came the unraveling of trust, security, and my sense of who I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to do as a wife and mother, along with the future I'd imagined for our family.
The almost immediate withdrawal of much of my social circle. It was as though the tide had suddenly gone out, taking with it friendships and a sense of belonging I'd believed would always be there. That one was, and still is, especially painful.
The distancing of my in-laws, with whom I'd become extremely close and whom I'd come to love as my second parents. Another family connection I thought would endure. Thankfully, we eventually found our way back to one another, although it took nearly 20 years.
The betrayal of a nine-year relationship, when I discovered that the man I'd trusted had apparently been unfaithful for much of our time together.
What really struck me as I took this inventory was that these weren't simply losses. They were losses of people, relationships, trust, belonging, financial stability, and the life I thought I was building.
People I believed I could count on. Friendships I thought would endure. Family connections I believed would remain. Partners I trusted to be faithful.
And one by one, those expectations toppled like dominoes, leaving me wondering what—or who—would fall next.
Aha! Perhaps it wasn't just distrust I'd developed over the years. Perhaps it was an expectation of loss.
And suddenly, my relationship with Money began to make a whole lot more sense.
When Independence Becomes Self-Protection
Through those years, I was raising four young children, keeping a roof over our heads, putting food on the table, and figuring out how to rebuild our lives. There wasn't much time to grieve or even process everything that had happened.
I simply bucked up, rolled up my sleeves, and went into GET 'ER DONE mode!
And boy, did I become self-reliant! The problem-solver, the advice-giver, the one who jumps in to rescue the day! Need someone to build a business, manage your marketing, design and plan a wedding, figure out a crisis, or renovate an entire bathroom? I've got you! Just hand me my Skilsaw, point me in the right direction, and I'll figure it out!
I became so accustomed to being the one everyone could count on that I rarely stopped to consider who I could count on in return.
Beneath all that independence, I began recognizing that I'd also become extraordinarily good at keeping relationships at arm's length. After all, the less I depended on others, the less vulnerable I felt to disappointment and betrayal.
And then came the question that really cracked something open.
What if I’ve been preparing for betrayal instead of preparing for abundance?
The Money Pathway: Learning to HOLD
That question led me straight to HOLD, the third step in my six-step Money Pathway:
ASK. RECEIVE. HOLD. STACK. INVEST. GIVE.
HOLD has always been my biggest challenge. I've built successful businesses, generated substantial revenue, and proven to myself time and again that I know how to create money. Yet feeling completely comfortable having it, allowing it to accumulate and grow, and trusting its natural flow? Well, that's been another story.
And I began to wonder:
What if HOLD isn't about keeping Money from leaving, but about becoming comfortable letting her stay?
And trusting that even as she comes and goes, our relationship remains one of appreciation, possibility, and joy… and YES, trusting that she’ll be back!
There's a certain vulnerability in allowing ourselves to have something wonderful. Whether it's money, love, friendship, or opportunity, welcoming it into our lives means opening ourselves to an experience we can't completely control.
Perhaps HOLD isn't about controlling what happens next. It's about trusting our wisdom, appreciating what we have, and allowing ourselves to experience the joy of having it.
One of my favorite ways to teach about money is to imagine her as your bestie, your ride-or-die. Someone you can laugh with, cry with, celebrate with, and turn to for a much-needed hug. The kind of friend who'll even shake her head when you come out of the dressing room wearing that outfit!
Perhaps I'd been anticipating her departure instead of fully enjoying her presence.
A New Relationship With Money & Abundance
Later that evening, I created a new invocation to Money and Abundance, filled with the feelings and experiences I wanted to welcome into my life: trust, joy, appreciation, prosperity, ease, and infinite possibility.
One beautiful affirmation emerged that resonated with me so deeply, I've been repeating it ever since.
“I am comfortable having wonderful things in my life.”
And then came another delightful revelation:
“To Have and to Hold… ME!”
Those familiar marriage vows suddenly took on an entirely new meaning. HOLD isn't only about money. It's also about trusting ourselves to welcome, enjoy, and embrace all the wonderful things life has to offer. Including ourselves!
And here was a lovely bonus. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling as though a fog had lifted. Those feelings of distrust around Money seemed to have simply dissipated!
The next morning, I saw my Money Bestie through entirely new eyes. I hadn't quite pulled her into a big embrace yet, but I felt a genuine and deeply heartfelt appreciation for her.
What a difference a day makes! And my kitchen floor looks fabulous, too!
Here’s the mantra that emerged from this experience. Perhaps you'll find a phrase or two that resonates with you, too.
My Money & Abundance Mantra
Dear Abundance, I see you everywhere—in the beauty of life, the love that surrounds me, the creativity within me, and the infinite possibilities before me.
Dear Money, my beautiful bestie, I love having you in my life. I welcome your arrival, celebrate your presence, appreciate your growth, and trust your natural flow.
I receive you both with joy, HOLD you with ease, and share you with love.
I trust my wisdom, my choices, and my ability to create a life rich with meaning, freedom, prosperity, and possibility.
I am comfortable having wonderful things in my life.
Abundance surrounds me. Money flows with me. My brilliance guides me.
And so it is.
Perhaps this journey of mine will inspire you to turn your mirror around and look at your own relationship with Money through new eyes, too.
Sometimes the most powerful shifts begin with a single question.
Live Your Light,
—Janet
Bright Life Builder
P.S. Curious about the patterns influencing the way you earn, receive, hold, and think about money? Take my free Money Personality Quiz and discover what may be shaping your relationship with money and business.
“True abundance is the freedom to welcome what arrives,
appreciate what stays, and trust in what continues to flow.”
-Janet Hutchens